Lost in thoughts...

It's 1:50am now, and as I sit here in bed, wishing I wasn't wide awake, but yet enjoying the sound of the thunderstorm outside, I ponder upon what tomorrow, or rather later today might hold. It's the end of a chapter for me. The end of teaching 6th Grade World History, the end of my Texas teaching career, and then end of working with teachers that I have seen almost every day for the past three years. I am saddened. I sit here thinking through all the hard work that it has been earning my degree, continuing my certification, gaining a new degree, and dealing with all that teaching hands you. This year has not been easy. I have been given some true challenges, but gosh, I get emotional just thinking about having to turn in my keys tomorrow. Never have I felt this way about leaving a job, and I know it's much more than just leaving a job, but it's leaving a life I've known for so long - something I've become accustomed to - something I thought I was good at.

The past three months, or rather four, if you count getting my MN certification, has been much more challenging than I ever dreamed. I didn't want finding a job to become a "job," but unfortunately it has become an added part of my daily activities. Thankfully, Jason has time to search through websites with new job postings, and I come home to the applying of the jobs and emailing of principals. It's exhausting and nerve-racking. After applying to over 30 districts and schools, emailing over a hundred principals with Jason's help, having three in-person interviews, and one phone interview, I'm just at a loss. I don't know what to do. I'm scheduled to head back north on Sunday, but have no interviews lined up. I'm trying, I really am, but even with my resume it seems like I'm never "the one" they want. It really puts a damper on my self-esteem!

As I said though, I can't stop thinking about tomorrow. I have my top desk drawer left to clean out, and my modification forms to fill in. Grades have been posted and the refrigerator has been defrosted...four more school hours and I'm done. Done with my Texas Teaching Career, done with junior high kids, done with a job where I actually enjoyed teaching the content. My boxes are packed and I have absolutely no idea where I'll end up. It's such a weird feeling.

I do know that the emotional struggle I am having now, and will probably still be experiencing for awhile, is all worth it. I remind myself every day that it is in God's timing...I'm just having difficulties remembering that today for some reason. My house is still for sale, I'm trying my best to handle that correctly although I've made a couple of mistakes, and I know that I love Jason with all my heart and can't wait to be with him. I just wish the situation was a bit different....house sold, contract for a job signed, and then the wedding. It looks as though that might not be the order God has for me.

I ask you to pray for me after you read this. I just need prayer that I will always remember this is God's timing. I ask you to pray for Jason, that he will always be patient with me during my emotional roller coaster of life changes, and that he always knows I love him.

To all you blog readers, which I know probably isn't very many people anymore, thank you for keeping up with me and my nomadic ways. It looks as though this Nomad has found a permanent location...