A Different Kind of Beginning...

I know it's been weeks since I last wrote. The weeks seem to have flown by, filled with school acitivties, meetings, and various places to be. I have finished up my graduate classes (with a 4.0 still remaining), played in a Kickball tournament, got sunburned on field day, spent hours packing up and moving my classroom as well as Jordan's, rode in the boat for a couple of hours watching the talent of my friends who are brave enough to wakeboard, and have lost countless hours of sleep learning that God brings people into our lives for a reason, and we're not always able to understand why.

On top of that, I just got back home from a few days in San Antonio with good friends, catching up and trying my best to relax - but wasn't very successful at that. I found out yesterday that although the director of my program thought I had paid my Housing for the summer, he was wrong, and had to apologize due to confusion in the accounting department - supposedly there is a new student with the last name of "Neuman," and to think I thought a family member surprised me! Also, I was delighted to hear that my friend Ang is now engaged! Hooray! She is now going to be a Naumann! (No relation to me, but I claim that she has always wanted to be just like me, so she decided to marry someone with the same last name!) It's truly amazing to look back on the past ten days and see all that has gone on.

I also know that many of you are wondering how I am doing. I haven't been in contact with many of you over the past few months, and I know I have just seemed stressed and busy, and yes, I have been!

To be honest, there isn't enough time to tell you all that is going on in my mind right now. Let's just say that the past ten days for me have been absolutely amazing, but yet some of the toughest days I can ever remember. I have been able to actually let my guard down for once, and truly risk letting my emotions show. I have learned that I don't have all the answers, and that it's ok to not be in control. I have learned there are people in this world who I can connect with on a deeper level - I had truly begun thinking that maybe there was no one for me to talk to that actually understood what made me who I am.

I have also been reminded how much it hurts when something you truly treasure is taken away just as quickly as it came into your life. This has been the hardest lesson for me to learn. I have been taught that crying is not the end of the world - it's actually a great release. Shocking, I know, and I doubt you will ever see me do it, but for those few friends that did see me the past few days, thank you for being there for me, even though you didn't understand everything and I didn't feel like explaining. It is an emotion that is rare in my life, and I couldn't believe it was actually happening to me, but on the flip side, I have never felt so willing to risk that emotion, and for that, I have no regrets.

The past ten days have left me desiring to grow closer to God, to truly find my purpose and what he shall have me do next. The next two to three weeks are going to be trying for me - to have to move on so quickly, and prepare so many things to get this degree finished. I am excited about heading back overseas, but I am desparately searching for answers. I know it all lies in God's hands, and I have to let him take control. I wish I had all the answers to those questions circling in my mind, but for now, I need to get some much needed rest. I have no clue what the coming months hold, but I do know that I am blessed. Even though you might find me "venting" about my days, I truly feel like I am right where God needs me, even if I don't understand the "why" of it all. I hope you each know how special you are to me, and that I am continuing to pray for you as well. Until next time, enjoy each day and make the most of it!