So I made a comment on my Facebook page this evening that had to do with taking a risk – is it really worth it? I didn’t list the “risk” I was referring to, but I was surprised to see so many people say go for it! My first instinct was yeah, I should, but then my mind starts to think about all that could happen, if I were to actually take the risk. Now, I’ve never been one to really turn down a task, but sometimes, well, I just have to ask myself if it is truly worth, in this case, getting hurt. I did a bit of research and came up with some interesting points in regards to “risk taking” and wanted to share them with you.
What Is Risk Taking?
* To laugh is to risk appearing the fool;
* To weep is to risk appearing sentimental;
* To reach out for another is to risk involvement;
* To expose feelings is to risk exposing true self;
* To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss;
* To love is to risk not being loved in return;
* To live is to risk dying;
* To hope is to risk despair;
* To try is to risk failure;
* But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing;
* The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing;
* He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live;
* Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave and has forfeited freedom'
* Only a person who risks is free.
Risk taking is:
* Opening yourself to change. It is the accepting of the need for change and it is taking the behavioral steps that will result in that change.
* Honest appraisal of a situation in life requiring your action.
* Understanding the risks involved in taking such action.
* Weighing the pros and cons of taking the action.
* Making a choice to take the required action.
* Performing the action with full consciousness of the risks, pros and cons and potential outcome.
* Accepting the consequences of such action.
* The ability to ignore your need for other's approval in order to take the most appropriate action for you.
* The behavioral process involving the gamble that you may experience rejection from others for the actions you have chosen to take.
* Pursuing the required actions despite the fear that it will affect others negatively, resulting in their efforts to make you feel guilty about taking such action.
* Deciding to make a personal sacrifice of time, energy, ability and knowledge as an investment to better your circumstances.
* Hoping your circumstances will improve as a result of your personal sacrifice, but making it anyway.
* The effort to be honest with yourself about your part in interpersonal problems, admitting that you have certain personal barriers that prevent the resolution of the problem.
* Admitting to the other(s) involved what the barriers are and seeking assistance to address those barriers and resolve the problems.
* Committing to become objective in pursuing a rational approach to a problem.
* The willingness to identify irrational blocking beliefs, which hinder resolutions.
* Opening yourself to be identified as being too subjective, too emotional, too obstructing and too hindering in the resolution of your problem.
* The willingness to accept honest, objective feedback about the need for you to change your own behavior.
* The effort to be less subjective, less defensive and more open in your search for truth, honesty and sanity in resolving your problem.
* The willingness to take a healing, forgiving and forgetting attitude in pursuing the resolution of a conflict.
* Opening yourself to be vulnerable, to being taken advantage of by the other in the conflict situation.
* Demonstrating your trust in the other person's willingness to accept an honest, open and upfront approach to resolving the conflict.
* Now-oriented action.
* Direct confrontation of a problem. It is the absence of procrastination and denial in dealing with a problem.
* Responsible action taken to pursue the resolution of a problem.
What are some blocks to risk taking?
Road blocks to becoming a risk taker include:
* Fear of rejection
* Need for approval
* Need to avoid guilt
* Need to always be right
* Need to know all the "in's and out's'' of a situation
* Need for certainty
* Lack of belief in yourself and others
* Fear of being incompetent
* Desire to avoid conflict
* Unresolved anger
* Poor role modeling in family of origin
* Fear of failure
* Unwillingness to face problems honestly
* Lack of assertiveness in protection of your own rights
* Inability to take the responsibility for your own life
* Unwillingness to accept possible negative consequences
* Preferring to be unhappy, mired in your problem
* Playing it safe
* A need for security
* Fear of hurting others
* Rationalizing the lack of need for direct action
* Denial that a problem exists and that action needs to be taken
* Projecting the need for action onto others
* Intellectualizing about a problem to avoid action
* Exempting yourself of responsibility to resolve a problem
* Relying on others to resolve your problems
* Alcohol or drug abuse "clouding" thinking
* Over-emotional response to a problem
* Humoring yourself and others to ignore the problem
* Over concern for everybody but yourself
* Fear of pain ("no pain, no gain")
* Absence of desire to change
* Irrational belief that it is impossible to change the situation
* A disregard for the rights of yourself and others
* Confusion about your role in handling the problem
* Lack of ownership of the problem
* Over-sentimentality for the needs of others
* Enjoying the sympathy you receive from others for the problem you face
* Inability to let go of an old belief in a person or institution
* A belief that life should always be fair
Not being a risk taker results in:
* The problem or complaint going unresolved
* Change being avoided
* Maintenance of the status quo, even if it is negative
* Others turning off to your complaints and pleas for help
* No gains in life--stagnation
* Over-dependence on others to take care of you
* Unhappiness concerning your current status in life
* Depression over your problems
* Feelings of being stuck C immobilized
* A chronic "yes, but" attitude
* Lack of creativity in problem solving
* The problems becoming exacerbated
* Your rights and the rights of others being ignored
* Experiencing ``burnout'' in facing your problems
* Loss of support from others who have been assisting you in working on your problems
* Loss of physical health
* Loss of emotional health
* Being isolated and ignored by others as you wallow in self-pity
* Your blaming others for not helping to solve your problems
* Your self-destructive, self-defeating behavior
After reading through these lists, it gave me a better understanding of the benefits and downfalls of taking risks. As I was flipping through my journal this evening, why, I don’t exactly know, I looked at my first entry. My most recent journal was given to me by a friend when I moved to Italy back in 2006. He knew that I enjoyed writing in a journal, and it was the perfect travel size! As I read his inscription in the front, I had to laugh because it mentioned that he hoped it would be a great reminder of my adventures in Italy. If only I knew then what I know now! It truly is a reminder! I relate those first few entries in the journal to my journey of taking risks. I think back to the big decisions on what jobs to take, where to move, and what house to buy. As I was packing for a quick trip to Austin tomorrow, I pulled off a luggage tag from this past August – a reminder of my last “flying” adventure to meet an eHarmony man – what a risk that was! (What a memory that was as well!) I also feel that it was impart a risk to closing my account. I felt eHarmony was my way out of this town, but quitting it was a risk in truly relying on God and letting him take control. I guess letting God be in charge is not really a risk but it has sure been an act of faith!
We take risks quite often – some that may affect that particular day, others that will affect the rest of our lives. As I continued to flip through my journal I found many entries where I pose an uneasiness on certain things – weighing the pros and cons – trying to see what I should or shouldn’t do. I always try to look at both sides, make a tangible list, and formulate my thoughts as best as I can. I sometimes ask for advice, and sometimes ignore everything that everybody has to say! Jordan and I were laughing the other day because I totally disregarded the advice she gave me – and was thankful I went ahead and “risked” it all! If I wouldn’t have, something would have dragged on for months, but I am so grateful that I took initiative. I don’t know if you call it being brave or naïve, but sometimes, you just have to go for it, even if there is a fear of being hurt. I hope to have no regrets in life and feel that regrets aren’t always a negative thing, but something to ponder upon.
I wish I could share with you what is going on in my mind right now, but I just can’t. I will remember to seek God in this though – he will let me know which direction I need to take. I hope you gained a bit more insight into the realm of “risk-taking,” and I say go for whatever you want, and make the most of it!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Weekends
Weekends seem to come so quickly now. I remember when I was in school it felt like the week dragged on and on, but now, as the days on my calander seem to be filling up, the weeks are flying by. What seemed like an even planned for the next has ended up coming much sooner. I have realized that the many weeks I was counting on to accomplish some things have quickly disappeared, leaving me with a never ending to-do list. I'm looking forward to August 16th though - it's the end of my "planned" calendar, but yet the 17th is the beginning of a new school year! LOL - maybe I should start looking forward to Thanksgiving Break!
This past weekend has flown by, just like the weeks past. Friday was gorgeous, so I thought I would take a walk/run out at the park. Things were going well, started with a brisk walk, moved on to jogging, and then quickly realized how out of shape I really was. I also realized that the park can be a scary place when you're by yourself! It also doesn't help when the memory of being left there as a child comes flooding back - but that's a story for another day! :)
So I came back from my walk/slight run, grabbed a steak out of mom's fridge (who was still out of town) and headed home for an early dinner. Jordan was gone for the evening, and I had a ton of classwork ahead of me, so I timed my tv watching, turned on my phone alarm just in case I dozed off, and would you believe that I remember looking at my clock at 7pm, and then didn't wake up until 9:30pm?! I soon realized that my alarm was still on vibrate from school! Plus, I had about missed calls and three phone messages - I was popular Friday night - too bad no one really calls during the week! After that, I knew nothing was going to be accomplished, so I drug myself from the couch back to my bedroom, turned the lights off, and got almost twelve hours of wonderful sleep! I spent Saturday morning at choir practice, followed by a few hours of classwork, a few hours of yard work (thanks dad for fixing my lawnmower) and then an enjoyable evening with friends.
This morning I woke up to another beautiful day, and it ended with an amazing concert at my church. Our "Holy Week" Concert went really well, and I was pleased to see so many of my family members there to hear us. It was a true blessing for me, and I thought I would share with you one of my favorite songs we sang. The recording here is from a high school choir, but you can at least hear the words.
The day has ended well. It's been another busy weekend, but I feel as though I've accomplished some things off of my to-do list. Summer will be here before we know it, so until then I plan on accomplishing all that God has put before me! I hope you have a blessed day.
This past weekend has flown by, just like the weeks past. Friday was gorgeous, so I thought I would take a walk/run out at the park. Things were going well, started with a brisk walk, moved on to jogging, and then quickly realized how out of shape I really was. I also realized that the park can be a scary place when you're by yourself! It also doesn't help when the memory of being left there as a child comes flooding back - but that's a story for another day! :)
So I came back from my walk/slight run, grabbed a steak out of mom's fridge (who was still out of town) and headed home for an early dinner. Jordan was gone for the evening, and I had a ton of classwork ahead of me, so I timed my tv watching, turned on my phone alarm just in case I dozed off, and would you believe that I remember looking at my clock at 7pm, and then didn't wake up until 9:30pm?! I soon realized that my alarm was still on vibrate from school! Plus, I had about missed calls and three phone messages - I was popular Friday night - too bad no one really calls during the week! After that, I knew nothing was going to be accomplished, so I drug myself from the couch back to my bedroom, turned the lights off, and got almost twelve hours of wonderful sleep! I spent Saturday morning at choir practice, followed by a few hours of classwork, a few hours of yard work (thanks dad for fixing my lawnmower) and then an enjoyable evening with friends.
This morning I woke up to another beautiful day, and it ended with an amazing concert at my church. Our "Holy Week" Concert went really well, and I was pleased to see so many of my family members there to hear us. It was a true blessing for me, and I thought I would share with you one of my favorite songs we sang. The recording here is from a high school choir, but you can at least hear the words.
The day has ended well. It's been another busy weekend, but I feel as though I've accomplished some things off of my to-do list. Summer will be here before we know it, so until then I plan on accomplishing all that God has put before me! I hope you have a blessed day.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Finding Peace
It has been such a wonderful day! I awoke this morning to a freezing bedroom filled with the warm rays from the rising sun. Jordan made me get up early today - to be there to support her as she spoke at the opening of Little League this morning - but I am so glad that I was able to enjoy such a beautiful day that God has given to us. After the event we came home and put in a movie. I don't usually watch movies at 10:30am, but we opened all the curtains, covered ourselves in blankets and began the movie. My computer was up and running, sitting on my lap awaiting me to use it for some upcoming assignments, and I have to say, I actually began working!
Today has actually been an odd, interesting, funfilled, peacefilled, relaxing day. Let me take you back a few weeks, and then you'll understand why today has been like it has. As I was reading my blog entries to my aunt last night, I began to see a theme as to me realizing I am blessed, but then continuing to say how overwhelemed I was. It's all true, but I apologize for the repetition in past emails! You see, about a month ago, I began having thoughts that took me back to my past. I was remembering things that I had so wanted to forget, and in order to "move on" I needed to talk with those particular people and try to find a way to close those chapters of my life. They were chapters of my life that were left opened, with maybe a hope of returning to. I needed truth and honesty, and although it was a big risk, I had to take it. There was a great fear within me, fear of being hurt and losing friends, but I needed to let some things go.
So I set out on a journey to talk to these people. The first person I talked to was so understanding and honest with me. The kind words that were spoken along with many reasons why our relationship is the way it is overpowered any negative thoughts I had about what could have happened. We are friends, and will remain friends. They have been a part of my life since the beginning of college, and had offered words of wisdom and joy ever since. I am so thankful for this person and I feel they now know it, and will continue to be there for me although a certain aspect of our relationship was closed.
The second person didn't communicate quite so readily! I had tried to talk to them over two weeks ago, but due to mass amounts of emails in their inbox and different time zones, it just didn't happen. This person is very dear to my heart and I was worried most about the reaction I would get and the harsh words that might be evoked. After waiting two weeks though, I was reminded this morning how great our God is. I was shown that being honest is always beneficial and although outcomes might not be exactly what we thought they would be, they are still a part of God's will for our lives.
This morning, that second person wrote to me. They were truthful and honest, they made me laugh, and also made me realize that things can still be good between us, even though we do lead such different lives. Since I received their email this morning, I have had a sense of peace. I have felt a huge relief in knowing that the two chapters of my life that I had left open have officially been closed, and I am more than ready to move on! I am so glad I took those risks!
I have felt for a number of years that I needed some closure but hadn't really gotten it, nor had I even asked. The above mentioned people didn't seem to need closure, but I needed questions answered as to why things were said and done the way they were, and I now know that this was the perfect timing. I finally had the guts to put things out there and see what happened. I feel as though great things are in my future, and from today on I don't have to look back and make any comparisons or feel like there was a need to go back to how things once were!
I know I am an amazing person and God has just the perfect people out there to bring into my life! He has shown that to me over and over. There is no sense in worrying, trying to figure things out, or speculating what could be. I go to bed tonight with a sense of peace that I pray will last for awhile. I've accomplished some school work today, mowed my backyard, hung up all my clothes and am ready to rest for the evening. I feel blessed to have the continued friendship of those mentioned above, and will remember that sometimes you just have to risk it all, even if you are fearful of the unknown. I know I won't let so many years go by with unanswered questions any longer.
Have a blessed evening.
Today has actually been an odd, interesting, funfilled, peacefilled, relaxing day. Let me take you back a few weeks, and then you'll understand why today has been like it has. As I was reading my blog entries to my aunt last night, I began to see a theme as to me realizing I am blessed, but then continuing to say how overwhelemed I was. It's all true, but I apologize for the repetition in past emails! You see, about a month ago, I began having thoughts that took me back to my past. I was remembering things that I had so wanted to forget, and in order to "move on" I needed to talk with those particular people and try to find a way to close those chapters of my life. They were chapters of my life that were left opened, with maybe a hope of returning to. I needed truth and honesty, and although it was a big risk, I had to take it. There was a great fear within me, fear of being hurt and losing friends, but I needed to let some things go.
So I set out on a journey to talk to these people. The first person I talked to was so understanding and honest with me. The kind words that were spoken along with many reasons why our relationship is the way it is overpowered any negative thoughts I had about what could have happened. We are friends, and will remain friends. They have been a part of my life since the beginning of college, and had offered words of wisdom and joy ever since. I am so thankful for this person and I feel they now know it, and will continue to be there for me although a certain aspect of our relationship was closed.
The second person didn't communicate quite so readily! I had tried to talk to them over two weeks ago, but due to mass amounts of emails in their inbox and different time zones, it just didn't happen. This person is very dear to my heart and I was worried most about the reaction I would get and the harsh words that might be evoked. After waiting two weeks though, I was reminded this morning how great our God is. I was shown that being honest is always beneficial and although outcomes might not be exactly what we thought they would be, they are still a part of God's will for our lives.
This morning, that second person wrote to me. They were truthful and honest, they made me laugh, and also made me realize that things can still be good between us, even though we do lead such different lives. Since I received their email this morning, I have had a sense of peace. I have felt a huge relief in knowing that the two chapters of my life that I had left open have officially been closed, and I am more than ready to move on! I am so glad I took those risks!
I have felt for a number of years that I needed some closure but hadn't really gotten it, nor had I even asked. The above mentioned people didn't seem to need closure, but I needed questions answered as to why things were said and done the way they were, and I now know that this was the perfect timing. I finally had the guts to put things out there and see what happened. I feel as though great things are in my future, and from today on I don't have to look back and make any comparisons or feel like there was a need to go back to how things once were!
I know I am an amazing person and God has just the perfect people out there to bring into my life! He has shown that to me over and over. There is no sense in worrying, trying to figure things out, or speculating what could be. I go to bed tonight with a sense of peace that I pray will last for awhile. I've accomplished some school work today, mowed my backyard, hung up all my clothes and am ready to rest for the evening. I feel blessed to have the continued friendship of those mentioned above, and will remember that sometimes you just have to risk it all, even if you are fearful of the unknown. I know I won't let so many years go by with unanswered questions any longer.
Have a blessed evening.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Hesitation
I hestitate in writing anything too personal on here anymore - mainly because some of my friends were concerned, and as I rationalize the reason I do it, I fear that some people get the wrong ideas from what I write, so I will try and refrain from any confusing sentiments! Did you get all that? I don't really know what I wrote, other than saying I will try to keep my topics broad due to concern, on my behalf.
As my last post stated, I have been overwhelemed with every aspect of my life. I don't know how I got to this point, other than not making certain things priorities, but I have put myself here and it has come time to deal with it. Being gone for a week allowed me to really take a look at some things, and I have come back a changed woman - or so I think!
I've been re-inspired as far as my studies. Sunday morning in sunday school I asked for prayer for motivation - for a willingness to accomplish all that has been set before me. I needed prayer to find the strength to get things done - to remember why I was involved in the first place. My prayers were quickly answered Sunday afternoon. I sat down at the dreaded computer and actually felt inspired again. I had to dig deep to remind myself that "International Education" has been a passion of mine. Yeah, the degree is nice in that I get to travel and attend classes with people from all over the world, but the actual content is quite intriquing - I seem to have forgotten that in the list of deadlines and other activities that keep me busy with the rest of my life.
Not only have I found a new reason for motivation for school, but this morning, as I was occupying my duty station in the west parking lot I was reminded why I am here. An old student of mine, who also attends my church, decided to practice his witnessing skills on me at 7:30am! We've been following some steps in helping us find courage to go out and spread the word of God with others, and I have to admit, I haven't attempted the homework the past four weeks! I have the tools - I just haven't used them. So this morning, in the morning humidness of Bay City, I hear this "Miss Nauman, ...." He goes on to show me one of tools we have been taught - I was impressed. The great thing is, you can tell he's done it quite a few times! He truly gave me inspiration this morning. I often wonder where my passion went. I can look back and see how it began at the beginning of the school year - leading a DiscipleNow, sharing my testimony in both worship services, finally getting baptized after ten years....I was full of excitement and joy over what God was doing in my life - how quickly that feeling can fade.
I know I am blessed. I can go on and on about how God has blessed me, but after seeing my student this morning, I have to ask myself how that feeling can disappear? I think that's where I am tonight - wondering where my passion went. I care deeply about the different areas of church I am involved in - whether that is through singing, the women's ministry, or hosting the singles group. I try my best to be involved in school activities, showing up to concerts and deepening my knowledge of the subjects I teach. I enjoy the volunteer hours set before me for the service league I am a part, but I have to ask, have I spread myself too thin?
God has made a strong passion of mine very evident in recent days. Missions. It has come up in a variety of places from the church service I attended Wednesday night in North Carolina, to the youtube video I just happened across tonight. I don't know what it means - I struggle with knowing if I should set forth in that direction again, or maybe it is reminding me of my desire to adopt. I don't know. It's something that I will probably continue to struggle with.
There are so many questions I have circling in my mind right now, but I do know I am where I'm supposed to be. I have been blessed with a roommate who understands me (most of the time), friends (new and old) who I feel I can relate to and share things with, and a close family who has always been there for me, no matter my attitude! I have no clue what is instore for me, but with this new inspiration I have been given in recent days, I hope to accomplish all that God has set before me. I hope to let people know how important they are to me - and the impacts they have made in my life, and to share the love of God with everyone around me. If my student can do it - I know I can!
As my last post stated, I have been overwhelemed with every aspect of my life. I don't know how I got to this point, other than not making certain things priorities, but I have put myself here and it has come time to deal with it. Being gone for a week allowed me to really take a look at some things, and I have come back a changed woman - or so I think!
I've been re-inspired as far as my studies. Sunday morning in sunday school I asked for prayer for motivation - for a willingness to accomplish all that has been set before me. I needed prayer to find the strength to get things done - to remember why I was involved in the first place. My prayers were quickly answered Sunday afternoon. I sat down at the dreaded computer and actually felt inspired again. I had to dig deep to remind myself that "International Education" has been a passion of mine. Yeah, the degree is nice in that I get to travel and attend classes with people from all over the world, but the actual content is quite intriquing - I seem to have forgotten that in the list of deadlines and other activities that keep me busy with the rest of my life.
Not only have I found a new reason for motivation for school, but this morning, as I was occupying my duty station in the west parking lot I was reminded why I am here. An old student of mine, who also attends my church, decided to practice his witnessing skills on me at 7:30am! We've been following some steps in helping us find courage to go out and spread the word of God with others, and I have to admit, I haven't attempted the homework the past four weeks! I have the tools - I just haven't used them. So this morning, in the morning humidness of Bay City, I hear this "Miss Nauman, ...." He goes on to show me one of tools we have been taught - I was impressed. The great thing is, you can tell he's done it quite a few times! He truly gave me inspiration this morning. I often wonder where my passion went. I can look back and see how it began at the beginning of the school year - leading a DiscipleNow, sharing my testimony in both worship services, finally getting baptized after ten years....I was full of excitement and joy over what God was doing in my life - how quickly that feeling can fade.
I know I am blessed. I can go on and on about how God has blessed me, but after seeing my student this morning, I have to ask myself how that feeling can disappear? I think that's where I am tonight - wondering where my passion went. I care deeply about the different areas of church I am involved in - whether that is through singing, the women's ministry, or hosting the singles group. I try my best to be involved in school activities, showing up to concerts and deepening my knowledge of the subjects I teach. I enjoy the volunteer hours set before me for the service league I am a part, but I have to ask, have I spread myself too thin?
God has made a strong passion of mine very evident in recent days. Missions. It has come up in a variety of places from the church service I attended Wednesday night in North Carolina, to the youtube video I just happened across tonight. I don't know what it means - I struggle with knowing if I should set forth in that direction again, or maybe it is reminding me of my desire to adopt. I don't know. It's something that I will probably continue to struggle with.
There are so many questions I have circling in my mind right now, but I do know I am where I'm supposed to be. I have been blessed with a roommate who understands me (most of the time), friends (new and old) who I feel I can relate to and share things with, and a close family who has always been there for me, no matter my attitude! I have no clue what is instore for me, but with this new inspiration I have been given in recent days, I hope to accomplish all that God has set before me. I hope to let people know how important they are to me - and the impacts they have made in my life, and to share the love of God with everyone around me. If my student can do it - I know I can!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Overwhelmed
I often wonder how my life became so busy. As I look back over the past few years, I remember the long nights of grading papers, watching tv, and enjoying that spare time to read. I remember the many weekend roadtrips across this great state with occassional trips to California and New Jersey. Those were the days.
As I sit here in bed, for some reason avoiding turning the light out, I'm trying to take a moment to breathe. I need to rest, but I can't seem to remember how. If I stay still too long, my eyes will close and nothing will get done! I knew this year was going to be busy for me, but I didn't realize the toll my emotions would take. This past week has been one of the worst. For some reason I have been 'thinking' too much - overanalyzing, reliving parts of my past I wanted to forget, and trying to accomplish way too many things at once.
School (my job) is keeping me on edge, waiting for those lovely little TAKS scores to come in. School (my graduate program) is keeping me stressed to the max with deadline after deadline for both classes, offering me no motivation at all. I am involved in many aspects of my church as well as our singles group, and as much as I enjoy the time spent with everyone, it seems as though I have too much of a social life at times, or rather, I commit too much of the time needed for my studies to the aspect of 'socializing.'
I do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel...I just can't see it right now. I'm hoping it will get here soon. I don't know how much more I can handle! I can say that I am blessed. I am trying my best to cherish these moments that I do have - to enjoy the friends and family that surround me - to be thankful for all the opportunities I have been given. My life right now can be summed up in saying that I am truly "overwhelmed."
After a day full of church, laundry, cleaning, packing, writing, reading, and submitting assignments, I am thoroughly exhausted. And to think that this is only the beginning of my Spring Break Vacation! Tomorrow morning, I leave at 6am to pick up my Aunt KK at Hobby and head east to North Carolina. Mom, KK and I are going on one of our girl's road trips which I am excited about, but still overwhelemed with everything that needs to get done during the week!
I know this vacation is needed for me, and I am looking forward to the many hours on the road where I can hopefully sleep! I'm sure I will come back with great stories of my crazy family, but until then I will continue to pray for a sense of peace for myself. I hope that you never get to a point of pure exhaustion, where I am this evening. It isn't much fun at all!
Enjoy this coming week, and have a Happy St.Patrick's Day! I know I'll be wearing my green Irish T-shirt on Tuesday! I've also attached a song I like to listen to while I am working. I hope you enjoy it.
As I sit here in bed, for some reason avoiding turning the light out, I'm trying to take a moment to breathe. I need to rest, but I can't seem to remember how. If I stay still too long, my eyes will close and nothing will get done! I knew this year was going to be busy for me, but I didn't realize the toll my emotions would take. This past week has been one of the worst. For some reason I have been 'thinking' too much - overanalyzing, reliving parts of my past I wanted to forget, and trying to accomplish way too many things at once.
School (my job) is keeping me on edge, waiting for those lovely little TAKS scores to come in. School (my graduate program) is keeping me stressed to the max with deadline after deadline for both classes, offering me no motivation at all. I am involved in many aspects of my church as well as our singles group, and as much as I enjoy the time spent with everyone, it seems as though I have too much of a social life at times, or rather, I commit too much of the time needed for my studies to the aspect of 'socializing.'
I do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel...I just can't see it right now. I'm hoping it will get here soon. I don't know how much more I can handle! I can say that I am blessed. I am trying my best to cherish these moments that I do have - to enjoy the friends and family that surround me - to be thankful for all the opportunities I have been given. My life right now can be summed up in saying that I am truly "overwhelmed."
After a day full of church, laundry, cleaning, packing, writing, reading, and submitting assignments, I am thoroughly exhausted. And to think that this is only the beginning of my Spring Break Vacation! Tomorrow morning, I leave at 6am to pick up my Aunt KK at Hobby and head east to North Carolina. Mom, KK and I are going on one of our girl's road trips which I am excited about, but still overwhelemed with everything that needs to get done during the week!
I know this vacation is needed for me, and I am looking forward to the many hours on the road where I can hopefully sleep! I'm sure I will come back with great stories of my crazy family, but until then I will continue to pray for a sense of peace for myself. I hope that you never get to a point of pure exhaustion, where I am this evening. It isn't much fun at all!
Enjoy this coming week, and have a Happy St.Patrick's Day! I know I'll be wearing my green Irish T-shirt on Tuesday! I've also attached a song I like to listen to while I am working. I hope you enjoy it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Time and Space to Grow
The days are passing by so quickly, and it is hard to believe that March is already here. With so much going on in my life, it is now a rare thing for me to take the time to sit down and write on my blog.
Due to my lack of motivation in working on some class assignments, I thought I would share an old email with you. As you've probably gathered from most of my blog entries, I am single :) and enjoying all that God has brought to me this year. Yes, there are those lonely days, but I try my best to not let it get me down. Since I stopped using eHarmony I've gotten many comments about how some of my blog readers miss hearing my stories, and although I got a good laugh out of it as well, I know it is what I needed to do. There are many more stories that I haven't posted, so if you want a good laugh, just ask!
So as I mentioned, I wanted to share an old email with you. I know it's dated because it was printed out from my hotmail account, which I closed almost ten years ago. An old high school friend sent it to me, and as I look at everyone else she sent it to, I find it quite ironic that I think I'm the only single one left in the bunch!
I think there are a lot of good points in it and even if you are not single, it will hopefully make you think!
"All your life, you had specific dreams about what your family life would be like when you finally married. You were so intent on what you wanted, you even made a list of qualities and characteristics you were looking for in a spouse, in a home, in your job, in your children. But time passed, and that person you were so intent on didn't come along.
All of your friends married, had children, had beautiful homes, and still you were single. You prayed and prayed for that person to come along, but nothing happened. You had a good job. You served in your church. You spent daily time with the Lord in prayer and studying the Word. You dedicated your life to serving God in every way possible, but still nothing.
So you decided to take matters into your own hands, and you began an active search for a mate. Within a short period, you met someone who almost fit the bill. Almost. Sure, there were a few things missing, a few rusty spots in that person's character, but, after all, no one is perfect.
Of course, your friends and your pastor tried to council you that you were making a poor choice and that you should wait for the Lord to send the right person. But that couldn't be right. You had waited for a long time. Maybe your goals were too high. Maybe you'd been asking for the impossible. Maybe this was the person God wanted for you so your character could grow through dealing with his or her failings. So you married. And your life went downhill from there. Even though it often seems that God is slow to answer prayers, no matter whether it's about a mate, or a job, our children, our finances, or antyhing else, we have to remember that God doesn't wear a watch. Nor does he look at our human calendars. He sees with eternal eyes. He operates on an eternal timetable, according to His plans and His schedule. If God seems to be running late, don't get impatient and run ahead of him. Wait for the Lord's timing in everything.
To the single folks out there, this is for you:
Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be. Single gives you space to grow. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone. Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature.
Single means learning to live by yourself. However, that is no more difficult than learning to live with somebody else. Single means freedom. You are free to spend a week's vacation on the beach, to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project, or to spend the day in bed with a good book.
Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life meaningful, but learning to live with a man/woman because you want to be with him/her. Single means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip and feel wistful and wonder if marriage is better. Ironically, yet quite happily, single is feeling good about being in control of you life. It is liking and respecting who you are and why you are.
Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it is merely different. Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it.
Single means you are free to love again. There are times when we are afraid of telling the person, whom we love or like, what we feel deep inside because we might just lose them. That's a big risk...I know, but hey....everything is. The way I see it is why keep something inside and then end up regretting it in the near future? But as I've said...everything is a big risk. So whatever you decide to do with your feelings...whether you tell it to that person or not...you have to be ready with the consequences that come after it and accept it.
Whatever decisions that you have made in life is part of your growing experience...part of life. Whatever decisions that you have to make will influence or affect your future. So think hard before deciding on certain things...and PRAY to God and HE will show you the way!"
I found this email to be quite interesting and a bit ironic that I found it today, while cleaning out some old boxes at my mom's house. God is sure speaking to me through many different avenues - I pray he is speaking to you.
Due to my lack of motivation in working on some class assignments, I thought I would share an old email with you. As you've probably gathered from most of my blog entries, I am single :) and enjoying all that God has brought to me this year. Yes, there are those lonely days, but I try my best to not let it get me down. Since I stopped using eHarmony I've gotten many comments about how some of my blog readers miss hearing my stories, and although I got a good laugh out of it as well, I know it is what I needed to do. There are many more stories that I haven't posted, so if you want a good laugh, just ask!
So as I mentioned, I wanted to share an old email with you. I know it's dated because it was printed out from my hotmail account, which I closed almost ten years ago. An old high school friend sent it to me, and as I look at everyone else she sent it to, I find it quite ironic that I think I'm the only single one left in the bunch!
I think there are a lot of good points in it and even if you are not single, it will hopefully make you think!
"All your life, you had specific dreams about what your family life would be like when you finally married. You were so intent on what you wanted, you even made a list of qualities and characteristics you were looking for in a spouse, in a home, in your job, in your children. But time passed, and that person you were so intent on didn't come along.
All of your friends married, had children, had beautiful homes, and still you were single. You prayed and prayed for that person to come along, but nothing happened. You had a good job. You served in your church. You spent daily time with the Lord in prayer and studying the Word. You dedicated your life to serving God in every way possible, but still nothing.
So you decided to take matters into your own hands, and you began an active search for a mate. Within a short period, you met someone who almost fit the bill. Almost. Sure, there were a few things missing, a few rusty spots in that person's character, but, after all, no one is perfect.
Of course, your friends and your pastor tried to council you that you were making a poor choice and that you should wait for the Lord to send the right person. But that couldn't be right. You had waited for a long time. Maybe your goals were too high. Maybe you'd been asking for the impossible. Maybe this was the person God wanted for you so your character could grow through dealing with his or her failings. So you married. And your life went downhill from there. Even though it often seems that God is slow to answer prayers, no matter whether it's about a mate, or a job, our children, our finances, or antyhing else, we have to remember that God doesn't wear a watch. Nor does he look at our human calendars. He sees with eternal eyes. He operates on an eternal timetable, according to His plans and His schedule. If God seems to be running late, don't get impatient and run ahead of him. Wait for the Lord's timing in everything.
To the single folks out there, this is for you:
Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be. Single gives you space to grow. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone. Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature.
Single means learning to live by yourself. However, that is no more difficult than learning to live with somebody else. Single means freedom. You are free to spend a week's vacation on the beach, to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project, or to spend the day in bed with a good book.
Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life meaningful, but learning to live with a man/woman because you want to be with him/her. Single means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip and feel wistful and wonder if marriage is better. Ironically, yet quite happily, single is feeling good about being in control of you life. It is liking and respecting who you are and why you are.
Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it is merely different. Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it.
Single means you are free to love again. There are times when we are afraid of telling the person, whom we love or like, what we feel deep inside because we might just lose them. That's a big risk...I know, but hey....everything is. The way I see it is why keep something inside and then end up regretting it in the near future? But as I've said...everything is a big risk. So whatever you decide to do with your feelings...whether you tell it to that person or not...you have to be ready with the consequences that come after it and accept it.
Whatever decisions that you have made in life is part of your growing experience...part of life. Whatever decisions that you have to make will influence or affect your future. So think hard before deciding on certain things...and PRAY to God and HE will show you the way!"
I found this email to be quite interesting and a bit ironic that I found it today, while cleaning out some old boxes at my mom's house. God is sure speaking to me through many different avenues - I pray he is speaking to you.
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